Thursday, December 14, 2006

The other night Madorsky informed me about an interesting issue as regards the relative size and girth of the Indian phallus. The issue being that, apparently, their penises are too small for condoms. Being a skeptical sort where Alex and penises are concerned, I googled for myself, although, admittedly, a touch nervous as to what hits such a search would yield. Lo and behold, he speaks the truth; you can read the article yourself here. Madorsky, I should never have doubted you. Steven Colbert is going to have fun with this one.

Have you ever encountered old-world racism? You know, the kind where Grandma adamantly asserts she isn't racist, its just that black people...fill in the blank. When my Grandma would make these comments, it used to make my blood boil, but lately I've come to realize change is not a viable option, nor is greater self-awareness, so far better to just bite my tongue and frantically apologize to whomever she may offend. Today I had taken lunch over to her apartment, and, after being chastised for my lack of a girlfriend, (I believe, "What the hell is your problem" was the exact quote. Thanks gram.) I commented that she had noticeably more pictures on display of my sister than myself. Grandma's rejoinder was "and they are all crooked. That must have been Bert [her black housekeeper]. Have you noticed black people always put things on funny angles." Yes, ladies and gentlemen, my Grandma truly believes that setting pictures on angles is a racial issue! Hell, I suppose it is progress that didn't use a more racially charged term.

1 comment:

Alex said...

I wouldn't lie to you, schmoopie...

I haven't had a girlfriend since this summer and no bright prospects...I'm glad my grandma doesn't take an interest in my social life!!